I want WISDOM and BOLDNESS to share.....

So I went to Philly this weekend with my family.

My cousin Katie is 8 months pregnant and her sisters Jen and Laura were throwing her a baby shower. I love these girls. Many people don't understand the connection I have with them..... they simply look at them as cousins but I look at them as sisters and friends. We have been there for each other since we were toddlers. Our moms are really close and so naturally we spent a lot of time together thru the years. Two of them are married and two of them are getting ready to have their first child. It has been fun walking thru these stages with them and watching them change and begin new lives with their husbands.....



Well, I had an amazing conversation with Jim while I was in Philly. A conversation that challenged me to share my faith with a boldness and a compassion that I hadn't been asked to do before. Recently, I have been praying for God to give me situations and opportunities to share my faith and Jesus with others, especially my family. I have asked for wisdom and boldness and courage to speak the truth about Christ and the salvation He offers. As I sat with Jim on the couch, he began to ask me about why I don't drink. I shared with him my responses and before I realized it, three hours had passed!


I asked Jim if he had a relationship with Jesus.... He looked at me and pointed to a gold cross he wears around his neck. I asked him what that meant to him.... he didn't understand. I asked Jim to share with me what that cross meant to him and encouraged him to share with me why he wore it and who Jesus was to him. He paused for a few seconds then shared with me that his religion and his faith was very private. It defined who he was but he didn't feel comfortable sharing it with others. The story was his and he wanted to keep it that way. We talked for a few more minutes and then I shared with him my story.....

I shared with him who Jesus was to me and why it was I fell in love in Him. I explained what Church and ministry and a relationship was. I explained the difference between knowing of Jesus and needing Jesus. I wanted so bad for Jimmy to be challenged and encouraged to share his faith. I celebrated his story, even though I don't know what it is, and reminded him that our God is a real and personal God who loves and cares for ALL of his people!

Friends, if we are believers in Jesus and truly love him then why are we silent? Why do we sit back and keep our story to ourselves? If God can change our life, then He can change other's too. It's not a faith meant to keep quiet. It's not a faith that is meant to be displayed with a cross necklace. Its a faith that is meant to be lived in your life..... everyday! Its a faith that is meant to shape you and become a part of your being! Its a love and a relationship that if you allow it, will grip ahold of you and love and care for you like you have never imagined!

Jimmy said that there were two things he never talked about with other people.... religion and politics. My heart broke for him. There are two things that I always want to talk about... Jesus and Salvation! I do not want to walk away from any situation having overlooked an opportunity to tell someone about Jesus. Never.

I prayed for Jimmy that night. I will keep praying for Jimmy. I will pray for opportunities to share my faith with him. I hope that my conversation with him challenged him and I pray that even now, days later, he is thinking about it. I pray that God will place other people in his life, that love and share my joy for the Lord and that they will have the Wisdom and Boldness and Love to share Jesus with him too.

I have been replaying that conversation in my head over and over.
I keep thinking and wondering if I could have done anything different to make Jim see what it is he is missing.
God reminds me that Jim's salvation is not my responsibility.
The choice of salvation is Jim's.
I am responsible for sharing Jesus
I am responsible for telling Jim about Jesus and Jesus' love for him
I can find rest in that
I can find peace in knowing that.....

Be challeneged today to share Jesus with others. As often and as frequently as possible.
Pray for opportunities to tell someone of the Jesus who has your heart.
Tell them of a Jesus who loves them so much, exactly as a they are today. Right now!
Tell them of a Jesus who died on a cross who bled and wept for each of us.
Tell them of a Jesus who rose from the dead three days later and now sits at the right hand of the Father.
Tell them of salvation and grace and forgivenss.....
The decision to accept is theirs.

The Astronaut-Doctor-Business Tycoon Dont Need No One Girl

So I just turned 28 this week. Tuesday January 22 was my birthday.
I don't know what happens but each year when I have a birthday I get to thinking about dreams and goals and just what it is I want to accomplish with my life. This week I took some time to do that and found myself laughing and smiling at myself.... Let me explain.

2008 Goals
1. Be like Jesus - Love with all that I have and all that I am.
To have an "attitude like that of Christ Jesus"- Philippians 2:5 and to
"Be imitators of God" - Ephesians 5:20
2. To share Jesus with others -- to seek and pray for opportunities to help other people come to know and understand the Love of Jesus and the eternal life he offers them
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'" - Romans 10: 14-15

These are the big goals..... then I pray and think about what I want my personal life to look like...what are my dreams about my job, my family, my home etc.

1. To be a mom! - I can not wait to have children and raise a family. I absolutely love children and have come to understand that raising a family in the image and likeness of Christ and his church is something that I long to do and that I am excited to begin!
2. To serve in the American Church - My heart breaks and my soul cries for those people here in our churches that are asleep and dead to the life of Jesus. I know that my ministry will be focused on the American Church.
3. To have a family and a life that sets an example for other believers; one that encourages and challenges them to live a life that honors and pleases the Lord.

I often times will share these goals with the people that are close in my life; especially my mom and my dad. I know that they love me so much and unconditionally.... well mom and I were laughing just days ago as we thought back over my life.

As a young girl, I was going to be an astronaut! I loved the stars and planets. I would go to "space" camp every summer and learn more about the solar systems and the moon and the job of an astronaut! As I got older, my focus shifted to being a doctor. I was on this path for a LONG time! I was going to go to nursing school and then become a nurse practitioner and then continue on to be a pediatric surgeon. I was very driven in my studies and loved science all the way thru school. Anything that involved body parts and a scapal and I was there! Even as I interacted with friends and family in high school I always remained very focused and driven. I didn't date very much and I was adamant that I would remain single and without kids. I had no desire to be the typical "stay at home mom." I wanted the exciting city life with parties and fame and money. As I entered into college, my desire shifted yet again. This time, I took the math and business route. My mom is very successful business woman and I have seen her work really hard in her career and now after many years she sits as a Senior VP of a major company. People respect her. She has authority and power and that appealed to me. She has a beautiful home and a beach condo on the water. She has nice vehicles and is able to fly and take nice trips. I saw her life and it became what I wanted. I studied really hard in school and became an economics major. I was prepared to go to grad school and then on to earn my PhD. I thought that maybe I could run a big company one day or maybe I could teach at a major university someday. I even went as far as to enroll into grad school and again was pouring into my studies and education.....

About five years; that changed. Jesus became so real to me! I began to read scripture and serve in the church with a new energy and an new passion and enthusiasm that I had never felt before. I have loved the Lord for a LONG time, but this feeling was different. I was praying more, I was reading my Bible more and I was hungry to know Jesus.... I was hungry to need Jesus! Slowly and gradually, my shift and my perspective changed.

My entire person became different.

I no longer desired
power
money
nice cars
authority
nice homes....

Instead, I desired
love
patience
joy
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control
(Galatians 5:22).

Even as I sit here, I smile to think of the woman God has made me..... I never could have gotten here alone. The little astronaut-doctor-business tycoon wants to serve in a church and be a mom! I can't think of any other life that I want more. I am so at peace with this decision and I cant wait for God to lead me in the right direction. You want to know my secret.....

I let go of what I wanted!
I became so determined to listen and follow the will and desire of God.
I completely surrendered to any idea of life and success that I had and I waited....
I read and prayed and served and slowly and gradually.... over the course of about 3 1/2 years, this is what has emerged.

1. I love Jesus! - He is everything to me - He is ALL that I need.
2. I want others to Love Jesus! - I am determined to share Jesus as often as possible!
3. I love kids and can't WAIT to be a mom and a part of the family that desires to serve and honor God with their entire being!
4. I cant wait to serve with my husband in a church.... I can't WAIT for him to lead us into closer and deeper relationship with the Lord.

I can't help but smile! Thank you God for working in my life! Thank you for being patient with me as I struggled to find my way. Thank you for celebrating with me now as I fully know and understand who you have created me to be. I am ready and I know Lord that you are all that I need! Keep me focused and aware of your hand and guidance in my life. Thank you for loving me! I promise today Lord to go where you would have me go and be who you would have me be. I love you and I need you in my life! - Amen

I've learned my lesson!

So my grandma goes to FL every winter.... her and pop-pop tow the camper and set up camp in the warm and sunny skies of Arcadia FL. They LOVE going down and getting away from the cold weather up north. I was talking to her the other day and she told me about a recent bike fall that she had in the campground. Pop-Pop bought a three -wheeled bike so that she could get out and drive around the campground. Its good exercise and an easy and stress-free way for her to visit with other campers. I love picturing her on that bike with her floppy sun hat and sunglasses crusing around the campground! It makes me smile :)

Anyways....she told me that they got a new bike. This bike is different then the other one and slightly bigger and of course handles differently. Pop-Pop had been telling her NOT to drive the bike unless he was around because he wanted her to be safe and careful and wait until she got really comfortable driving it. Grandma, being stubborn, didn't listen and decided to go for a little "ride" one day while Pop-pop was away. Well you guessed it; she fell. She is ok minus a few bumps and bruises and some hurt pride and a little embarassment. She was so frustrated with herself and kept telling me over and over how she should have listened to pop-pop!

As I was talking to her, I couldn't help but think of all the times my parents tried to warn me of something to keep me from hurting myself or being disappointed. I was so convinced I knew what I was doing and that their warnings were trival or annoying.... I was "hard-headed" and wanted to do things my way. The result was me ending up learning my lesson the hard way. Instead of just listening and trusting them, I did things my own way. The result wasn't pretty! I often-times ended up hurt and bruised or disappointed and confused.

Sometimes, we can't see a situation clearly. We are SO focused on the problem or the person or the situation that we have blinders on to the "real" and "clear" picture. We become "blind" to the solution and deaf to the warnings. We become stubborn and hard-headed and try to accomplish the task on our own. While these lessons help us grow and while some bump and bruises are good for everyone, I cant help but think about how God must feel when I ignore his warnings. How many times has he gently guided me away from the "hot stove" or encouraged me to not "follow the crowd" and how many times have I ignored Him and tried to do it my way! Oh the headaches I have caused myself!

I am tired of trying to rely on my own strength and my own wisdom to get thru this world. I am committed to developing a spirit that is committed to listening and waiting for God's warnings and God's wisdom. If I am patient and resolve to truly wait for Him, He will teach me and guide me away from the "hot stove" and the stubborn hard-headed self and help me grow into a humble and obedient servant.

When others try to warn me, God is there. When I am making a bad decision, the Holy Spirit is trying to help me correct my mistake before its too late. I have plenty of bumps and bruises and scraps and cuts that I could have avoided by just listening and being obedient and patient!

I am Listening

There is noise all around us in this world.
People talking
Doors opening and closing
Babies Crying and Children Lauging
Zippers on jackets and purses
Radio
Typing
Water running
There is noise all around us in this world.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone but were only half listening?

As a child, my mom would always correct me with my "selective listening" like when she told me Mindy could come spend the night IF I cleaned my room.... I would hear Mindy can spend the night and ignore the clean your room part. I only picked up the part that I wanted to hear and ignored the rest!

Even now as an adult, I still have selective listening. My friend may call me to tell me about a prayer need or something special that has happened in their day, and while carrying a conversation with them, I'm checking e-mails and filing papers. I hang up the phone missing out on an opportunity to really connect with them and listen.....

Or how about a mom trying to juggle the responsibilities of her family. She runs around grocery shopping, school shopping, volunteering at the kids' schools, taking kids to soccer practice and dance lessons. There is ALOT of noise in a mom's day...... I have seen and talked with plenty who have trouble giving their full undivided attention to their child when their child asks a question while they check their e-mails or prepare to go into a meeting.

Good Listening takes time and practice.
It's not a natural thing for most people.

What about listening to God? How do we do with taking time to listen to Him and his guidance and direction for our life?

Our time with God is often squeezed in between checking e-mails and our drive into work. Its something that we do while we do other things....
How effective is our time with God when we can't really focus on what He is saying to us?
How many times does God give us direction/answer we have asked for and we are too busy or too preoccupied with other things that we miss what He is saying?
Or how many times do we only hear what we want to hear -- that selective listening as mom says.

Good listening takes time. Good listening takes practice and discipline.
He is talking to us.
He has not left us.
He is there.
Are we willing to do what it takes to listen?

Father God, I admit that sometimes I allow the business of my day and the noise that surrounds me to get in the way of listening to You. Help me to create an environment where I take time and truly listen to what you would have to say to me today. I love you and thank you for loving me. - Amen

Faith in what?

I am not much for watching TV. I don't really have a desire to sit on my couch staring at a picture box. I can't sit still that long for one and I get bored easily. My mind wanders and my thoughts drift.... I am constantly getting down and up and up and down.

But.... I did watch TV last night. I happened to see the show Grey's Anatomy. Ever watch it?
I have caught a few episodes before but its been a while since I have followed the sory line.
The show was about a healer.... yup, thats right a healer! This lady was going around the hospital and placing her hands on all the sick patients and "healing" them.

The main characters of the show were facing difficult situations in their personal lives.... a divorce, a young child who was facing life-threatening injuries from a bookshelf falling on him.... I cant remember the others. But throughout the 60 minute show the characters kept talking about faith....."keep the faith," "all you need is a little faith"

Faith in what?
Faith in Medicine? Faith in a healer? Faith in some magical answer to your marriage?

Now I know its just a TV show and I know that it is there for entertainment purposes....but this is SO true of so many people's REAL life!

It breaks my heart that people turn to God to fix their problems: save their marriage, stop their drug addiction, give them money....

Please don't misunderstand me or read into this the wrong way! God can and does do those things.... ALL the time. But being a child of God is so much sweeter and so much more beautiful then that.

I have FAITH in a God who loved me so much He sent His only Son to die on the cross for my sins.... I have FAITH in a God who can "move mountains" (I'm reading thru the gospels and LOVE this part of scripture!)....... I have FAITH in a God who chooses to NOT answer some of my prayers because only HE knows what is truly best for me...... I have FAITH in a God who loves me and accepts me as I am right NOW, TODAY...... I have FAITH in a God who is not finished with me and loves me ENOUGH to continue to work in my life.

So, YES there is something to have Faith in.
There is a power out there that is greater and more beautiful then anything we can imagine.
Yes there is something that we can cling too when all else fades and disappers
but, its not medicine and some magic potion or a healer.....

Its falling in Love with Jesus. Its being in an intimate and real relationship with Him. Its one that frees you of your guilt and shame and sin..... Its one that you can rely on even when your baby dies, your surgery is complex, and your marriage ends.

I pray today that if you don't know or have that kind of FAITH, that God would stir something inside of you.... that your heart and soul would burn for something more! I pray for your salvation and for understanding just how much God LOVES you! Have faith in that my friends!

Complicated....

i am a busy person....
i am a person that surrounds herself with others.
for many reason actually
i genuinely enjoy their company, i like laughing with them, i like helping them and caring for them, i get my energy from them, and i don't like being alone.
its boring and dull.....

i keep a busy schedule.
up at 7
work at 8:30
dinner at 6ish
evening activity at church til 9'ish
bible study
hanging with friends
i like it..... i enjoy it.

well God gave me a rude awakening.
he took it from me.
my schedule. my activities. my peeps.
gone.
vanished.
suddenly i had time..... LOTS of time.

it makes me squirm.
it makes me uncomfortable.
i don't like having time.
it makes me think about the hard stuff.....
with no distractions there is no choice but to deal with it.

well i just went thru one of those times....
those down times when i had time to think.
those times when things seem unsettled and a little slow

i realized something.
- scratch that -
God taught me/reminded me of something....

life the way HE intended is not complicated!

stop leaning on myself
stop leaning on friends
stop leaning on family
stop filling it with church
stop filling it with houses and cars and jobs
stop leaning on my dog (pathetic huh?)

lean on HIM.
i am the happiest when i focus on Him.
i am at ease with me when i am with Him.
fill it with prayer and study.

slowly the happiness comes back....
the sense of humor returns.
i find rest in that.

i dont have the answers..... but i'm not going to focus on that.

i am choosing to focus on LOVING HIM
and becoming like him (Ephesians 5:17)

i am choosing to focus on sharing the love of Jesus with others and on
telling others about Him as often and as frequently as possible.

thats what i want from my life.
that isnt complicated.
its simple and complete.

i can rest and find peace in that.

thank you for so much.... but most of all thank you for loving me and being patient with me.

Our Weakness.....

So the past several months have been pretty difficult for me. I won't bore you with the details or have a pity party for myself... Its not really my style. But I did come across this poem a few days ago. The author is unknown (I wish that I could take the credit....) Its seemed a little cheezy at first but then I read it again. I began to see the truth that was spoken in this poem and so I thought I would share it with you.

It’s sometimes very difficult
for us to understand
the wisdom and the love behind
the things that God has planned.

But we wouldn’t have the rainbow
If we didn’t have the rain;

We wouldn’t know the pleasure
If we never tasted pain.

We wouldn’t love the sunrise
If we hadn’t felt the night;

And we wouldn’t know our weakness
If we hadn’t sensed God’s might.

We couldn’t have the springtime
or the yellow daffodil
if we hadn’t experienced
the winter’s frosty chill.

And though the brilliant sunshine
is something God has made.
He knew too much could parch our souls
so He created shade.

So God’s given us a balance:
Enough joys to keep us glad,
Enough tears to keep us humble,
Enough good to balance bad.

And if you’ll trust in Him you’ll see
Though yesterday brought sorrow,
The clouds will part and dawn will bring
A happier tomorrow.

I cling to the promises that God has written me and turn to His Word for comfort and understanding. I would like to understand everything and have a good reason why bad things happen.... but that is not what He asks. He asks for our love and our faithfulness even when things don't make sense. Its hard sometimes. It doesn't make sense; but when we are faithful during those times, we are truly witnessing to others....

Love and Trust Him. It will be OK.

The really beautiful thing about trials is that when you are thru them your relationship with Jesus is closer and stronger than before. Now that is something to celebrate!

Dear Lord, You are good and everything You bring into our life is for our good and Your glory. Help us to see beyond the rubble and to You for the lessons necessary to grow our faith. I love you! Amen.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"

- James 1:2-4