Have you ever met someone w ho liked to argue?They like to sit around sipping coffee and having deep discussions....They like to debate and point out whats right and whats wrong with a particular topic.I am pretty sure we all know people like that!
I have been challenged lately to let those arguments go.
I am learning that the only lens that matters is the lens of Jesus. Let me explain.....The purpose of my communication with someone is to inspire and challenge them to live their life differently. Ultimately, I want them to decide that living for Jesus and having a relationship with Jesus is what truly matters. Period!
When I am in conversation with someone whose views and positions are different then my own, it is very natural for me to become defensive and begin to create a list of all the reasons that I am right and all the reasons that they are wrong. That is the flesh side of dealing with an issue.
What I am learning, is that sometimes I have to let it go. Sometimes people are not interested in hearing what I have to say and just want to talk and argue for the sake of talking and arguing.....
I can not control the motives or reasons that a person addresses me.... I can control only how I respond and only how I choose to react.I think in situations like that, the most important thing to remember is that your actions and words must reflect the change that you desire. Everything has to be filtered thru the lens of Jesus. What can I say, how can I act, what can I show that is going to challenge them to live for His glory.
It is not my job to change them. I can't and don't want to change them. The only person who can do that is God. I don't want to carry that burden! I instead, want to make sure that all that I say and all that I am about lets the light of God shine thru to the world He has created. I can't fix them. Only God has the power to do that!That means walking away from a discussion even when you know you are right. That means learning to be quiet when it would be easier to just tell them what you think. That means that building the relationship is more important then winning the fight!
I don't just want to talk about it and study it.... I don't just want to say it with my words and my journals. I want to live it, breathe it, become it! When I learn how to change my responses and my motives, God receives the glory -- That is what its all about.
I am going to leave those deep discussions about all the issues around the coffee be left up to someone else. My life and my being are defined not by how well I can argue my points but by how I respond to God's will EVERY day!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
"All you need is Love...."
Ever heard that Beattles song....
"All you need is Love Love Love
Love is all you need"
As I sat across the table from my cousin and VERY dear friend
I just began to talk about alot of things....
Things that have been bothering me and things that I have been wrestling with and processing for the last couple of months.
I absolutely love people! Doesn't matter their age, gender, personality type....
I love to talk to other people and find out about them... what makes them tick.
What is important to them? What do they enjoy? What do they value?
Anything.... I love getting to know new people.
I can talk to just about anyone... seriously. And, for the most part, I am genuinely interested in what they have to say, especially if it is about them as people.
Jen reminded me that I have a very big heart.... a heart that loves to love others..... a heart that loves to help people and a heart that loves to make other people happy. Sometimes the intentions behind that are questioned but truly, that is what I like to do. I absolutely love to find out what makes someone happy and do it.... over and over again. If I am aware of a need or something that someone wants done, I will be the first to volunteer to help. Doesn't matter what it is....
I have been known to create Power Point Presentations
Coordinate Wedding Ceremonies/Receptions
Paint Children Musical Backdrops
Type Greek Commentaries
Open up my home for a weekend/week/month to people who need a place to stay....
Learn to play the piano
Help people Move
Honestly, doesn't matter. I enjoy doing things that help people. I enjoy making a difference in their life.
I don't really expect much in return. I love visiting and spending time with people.... I think that is what I enjoy the most really. Just spend time with me. Give me you and that is the best way to show me that you love and care about me.
What I am learning is that character trait puts me in a very vulnerable spot consistently! As you can imagine, it is easy to get overextended and feel used and tired. It is easy to have your feelings hurt when someone doesn't respond to your generosity with thankfulness.
A friend once explained it like this.....
a relationship exists between two people.
On their best day, each person brings their own sets of strengths/weaknesses to the relationship. My strength....the ability to love someone.
My strength might be different then someone else's strength.
Consider for a second, the following analogy.
Imagine that you can measure love.
Lets say that on my best day I am capable of loving someone 150 units.
Now lets say that same person on their best day is capable of loving me 50 units.
I understand that my best and their best are on two different levels.
I understand that even on their "A Game" their best will not look like mine.
And that goes for the reverse as well.....
So what does this mean? How does this affect my life?
I should never expect someone to give me what I give them. I should not expect someone whose best is 50 units to give me 150 units. That is not realistic.... it isn't fair.
If someone can never fufill my expectations, then what is the point of them trying at all?
That doesn't mean that I shouldn't encourage them to grow. That does't mean that I can't try to challenge them to do better and be more.
I think the idea of encouragement and discipline is VERY biblical....
All I can ask is that they try to be their best
All I can expect is an effort that parallels my effort
And when they do try and when they are striving to make sure that I am saying "THANKS" in whatever form that looks like
"All you need is Love Love Love
Love is all you need"
As I sat across the table from my cousin and VERY dear friend
I just began to talk about alot of things....
Things that have been bothering me and things that I have been wrestling with and processing for the last couple of months.
I absolutely love people! Doesn't matter their age, gender, personality type....
I love to talk to other people and find out about them... what makes them tick.
What is important to them? What do they enjoy? What do they value?
Anything.... I love getting to know new people.
I can talk to just about anyone... seriously. And, for the most part, I am genuinely interested in what they have to say, especially if it is about them as people.
Jen reminded me that I have a very big heart.... a heart that loves to love others..... a heart that loves to help people and a heart that loves to make other people happy. Sometimes the intentions behind that are questioned but truly, that is what I like to do. I absolutely love to find out what makes someone happy and do it.... over and over again. If I am aware of a need or something that someone wants done, I will be the first to volunteer to help. Doesn't matter what it is....
I have been known to create Power Point Presentations
Coordinate Wedding Ceremonies/Receptions
Paint Children Musical Backdrops
Type Greek Commentaries
Open up my home for a weekend/week/month to people who need a place to stay....
Learn to play the piano
Help people Move
Honestly, doesn't matter. I enjoy doing things that help people. I enjoy making a difference in their life.
I don't really expect much in return. I love visiting and spending time with people.... I think that is what I enjoy the most really. Just spend time with me. Give me you and that is the best way to show me that you love and care about me.
What I am learning is that character trait puts me in a very vulnerable spot consistently! As you can imagine, it is easy to get overextended and feel used and tired. It is easy to have your feelings hurt when someone doesn't respond to your generosity with thankfulness.
A friend once explained it like this.....
a relationship exists between two people.
On their best day, each person brings their own sets of strengths/weaknesses to the relationship. My strength....the ability to love someone.
My strength might be different then someone else's strength.
Consider for a second, the following analogy.
Imagine that you can measure love.
Lets say that on my best day I am capable of loving someone 150 units.
Now lets say that same person on their best day is capable of loving me 50 units.
I understand that my best and their best are on two different levels.
I understand that even on their "A Game" their best will not look like mine.
And that goes for the reverse as well.....
So what does this mean? How does this affect my life?
I should never expect someone to give me what I give them. I should not expect someone whose best is 50 units to give me 150 units. That is not realistic.... it isn't fair.
If someone can never fufill my expectations, then what is the point of them trying at all?
That doesn't mean that I shouldn't encourage them to grow. That does't mean that I can't try to challenge them to do better and be more.
I think the idea of encouragement and discipline is VERY biblical....
All I can ask is that they try to be their best
All I can expect is an effort that parallels my effort
And when they do try and when they are striving to make sure that I am saying "THANKS" in whatever form that looks like
Monday, June 16, 2008
The ordinary events of an Extratordinary Savior!
I can't believe that it has been almost 2 months since I have posted anything! I have had a lot going on those weeks of silence. Some I am still working on.... some that I have figured out.
So I was thinking alot about life....
My heart is committed to glorifying God. My heart is to let His light shine and to be all that I can be for Him EVERY DAY!
I think what I am learning is that while my heart may be that, I am still struggling a bit with LIVING like that... Living in a way that inspires other people to change. GULP!
That is a hard thing to admit.... a REALLY hard thing.
A lot of people talk about a person's character and a person's habits. I have been thinking about that a bit.... and I have come to the conclusion that we are not born with our character or our habits. Those are things that develop and mature with time and experience.
I think that so many Christians, myself included, look for that bottom of the 9th, two outs, man on third moment.... So many of us want the THRILL of following the Lord.... that once in a lifetime moment that takes your breath away. That illuminating/cloud 9 experience that you will ride on for a while. There is nothing wrong with that.... but those moments don't develop character. Those are not the moments when habits are formed!
Habit and Character are formed in the common days of life. Those habits and character are developed in the routine tasks and normal activities of every day. I am a normal person who leads a normal life and sometimes I allow myself to be hindered by the "big moments" of Jesus and miss out on the marvel of God's grace in my ordinary life.
What I am learning is how to take an ordinary task, an ordinary day, an ordinary encounter and let God's light shine in a way that illuminates everything that I want to be about. I am aligning my heart's desire with my life habits and my personal character...
So many of us are hindered by us looking for the big thing to do. We forget that Jesus took a towel and washed his disciples feet. We forget that He rode on a donkey. Those are ordinary events that an EXTRAORDINARY Savior uses to teach me.... to teach us!
The habits and character we build today are just as important as when we step up to the plate to hit it out of the park.... maybe even more important! Use EACH moment of EACH day to LIVE a LIFE that speaks the truth about the GLORY of God.
He can use those moments and our desire to make a difference..... A difference in the lives of others. A difference that brings our character a little closer to His and challenges someone else to Live their life differently.
That's what I want my life to be about....
God, sometimes I allow the trill of the Big Moments get in the way of my habits and character that you are trying to build and shape today. Help me to align my heart's desire with my actions that challenges people to live their live differently.... Help me to LIVE each common moment in a manner that allows Your Grace to be seen and felt by others. I thank you for reminding me of that You can be glorified in my common tasks and daily routines. I love you! - Amen
So I was thinking alot about life....
My heart is committed to glorifying God. My heart is to let His light shine and to be all that I can be for Him EVERY DAY!
I think what I am learning is that while my heart may be that, I am still struggling a bit with LIVING like that... Living in a way that inspires other people to change. GULP!
That is a hard thing to admit.... a REALLY hard thing.
A lot of people talk about a person's character and a person's habits. I have been thinking about that a bit.... and I have come to the conclusion that we are not born with our character or our habits. Those are things that develop and mature with time and experience.
I think that so many Christians, myself included, look for that bottom of the 9th, two outs, man on third moment.... So many of us want the THRILL of following the Lord.... that once in a lifetime moment that takes your breath away. That illuminating/cloud 9 experience that you will ride on for a while. There is nothing wrong with that.... but those moments don't develop character. Those are not the moments when habits are formed!
Habit and Character are formed in the common days of life. Those habits and character are developed in the routine tasks and normal activities of every day. I am a normal person who leads a normal life and sometimes I allow myself to be hindered by the "big moments" of Jesus and miss out on the marvel of God's grace in my ordinary life.
What I am learning is how to take an ordinary task, an ordinary day, an ordinary encounter and let God's light shine in a way that illuminates everything that I want to be about. I am aligning my heart's desire with my life habits and my personal character...
So many of us are hindered by us looking for the big thing to do. We forget that Jesus took a towel and washed his disciples feet. We forget that He rode on a donkey. Those are ordinary events that an EXTRAORDINARY Savior uses to teach me.... to teach us!
The habits and character we build today are just as important as when we step up to the plate to hit it out of the park.... maybe even more important! Use EACH moment of EACH day to LIVE a LIFE that speaks the truth about the GLORY of God.
He can use those moments and our desire to make a difference..... A difference in the lives of others. A difference that brings our character a little closer to His and challenges someone else to Live their life differently.
That's what I want my life to be about....
God, sometimes I allow the trill of the Big Moments get in the way of my habits and character that you are trying to build and shape today. Help me to align my heart's desire with my actions that challenges people to live their live differently.... Help me to LIVE each common moment in a manner that allows Your Grace to be seen and felt by others. I thank you for reminding me of that You can be glorified in my common tasks and daily routines. I love you! - Amen
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